In a love relationship, as in medicine, prevention is better than long—term treatment. And in this case, you will have to treat your tortured soul and ruined self-esteem.
Of course, any woman wants to believe that she will never be cheated on. Unfortunately, there are pathological traitors among men who can no longer be corrected. How not to run into such a thing and what to do if you still connected your life with a traitor – learned from a psychologist.
Is it possible to find out at the dating stage that you are facing a traitor?
Watch the man carefully. If he talks a lot about his love victories, this is a reason to think.
If during your date he looks at other women no-no yes, or is unable to take his carnivorous gaze away from a girl passing by, then you are facing a potential traitor. He just can’t do anything about it and doesn’t even notice how he looks at other women in your presence — everything happens automatically.
But judging by a man, looking at the relationship of his parents, is difficult. Sometimes, in childhood, a child saw that his father cheated on his mother. Becoming a man, he decides that he will never do the same with his wife. Therefore, it behaves in exactly the opposite way.
But it also happens that genes take their toll. Here a lot depends on the upbringing that the man received.
Is it possible to make a faithful husband out of a traitor?
A person can be changed, but only if he wants it. However, do not even try to change a man who believes that cheating is normal. If he constantly makes excuses, lies that this will never happen again and continues to change. If his friends are also sure that cheating is normal, and even brag to each other about their mistresses. It is impossible to change such people.
I have had a lot of cases in my practice when a woman found her husband with another woman. Every time he swore, swore, bought her expensive gifts. She tried to forgive him, but then the situation repeated itself.
Such men cheat because this is their principle of life, their life program. For them, this is considered normal. At the same time, there are couples in which a woman knows about infidelity, but comes to terms with it, therefore enjoys a certain benefit. For example, the husband is wealthy and does not spare money for her, so this marriage suits the woman in principle.
But there are so-called accidental infidelities. Although they occur much less frequently. When, for example, a man had too much alcohol and did not understand what he was doing. At the same time, another woman actively inclined him to intimacy. Or when the initiative came from another woman, and the man did not know how to behave in this situation. But again, it all depends on his life position, on his beliefs.
If the betrayal happened by accident, and the man realized that he did not want to part with the woman he loved, these relationships can be restored.
It happens that the wife herself pushes her husband into treason. When emotional contact is lost between partners, sexual life worsens, a woman constantly blames a man for something.
I always say: if a man cheats, a woman should first of all pay attention to herself. Does she look good enough, at what level is her sexual energy, in what emotional state she is.
Maybe the woman is irritable, aggressive, angry, dissatisfied with everything all the time. And now a man does not want to come home, he increasingly avoids communication with his beloved. Then he loses sexual interest in a woman, sex disappears from family life. And then another one appears, which is able to satisfy his psycho-emotional and sexual needs.
However, it also happens that the wife is perfect — she is beautiful and gentle, sexy, walks in expensive underwear, but her husband still pulls on new women. And here a man already needs psychological help. If, of course, he wants to keep the relationship and stop cheating on his wife.
How to find out that a man is cheating
1. Loss of emotional contact
You realize that you have nothing more to talk about. You get short, monosyllabic answers to any of your questions. Or he completely closes himself in, does not want to talk. Perhaps the betrayal has not happened yet, but everything is coming to this.
2. Changes in behavior
Even by the manner of communication, you can understand that he is talking to you in an unnatural voice. Suddenly he starts hiding something, does not keep promises, or even outright lies. A traitor can evade direct answers to your questions, he is cheating, does not look you in the eye. Any of your questions begin to cause irritation. In general, he is increasingly irritated by trifles.
3. Awkward conversations with his friends
If you are trying to make inquiries about his friends’ infidelity, they will usually mumble, avert their eyes. By their behavior, you will also be able to understand that something is wrong here.
4. Hide and seek with the phone
He constantly texts with someone, and most often does it by locking himself in the bathroom or toilet. When the phone suddenly rings, it drops the call if you are nearby. At the same time, there is a password on the smartphone that you do not know. That is, it is installed not as a protection against hacking, but as protection from prying eyes, including yours.
5. Zealous attitude to personal boundaries
A man gets nervous when you accidentally pick up his phone. He gets annoyed when he sees you looking at his phone screen out of the corner of his eye.
If you suspect a man of cheating — what to do
No need to immediately run to a man with claims. It is best to try to clarify carefully what is really happening.
A man should not guess that you suspect him of something. At the first stage, you need to make sure that your suspicions are correct. If there is a chance that your guesses will not be justified, then you can ruin your relationship with your suspicions. Therefore, before making serious decisions, it is better to be 100% sure.
Should I blame myself for my husband’s infidelities?
Of course, a woman should not take the blame on herself if a man is cheating on her. To understand the current situation, family therapy is conducted, everything begins with a personal consultation. When I work with women who have experienced infidelity, I start with diagnostics, find out the psychotypes of men and women. I’m figuring out whether they were suitable for each other initially. I find out what the problem was and then, based on personal information, we begin to build these relationships.
A psychologist either helps people to restore family life, or makes it clear that there is no point in fighting for these relationships and it is necessary to move on so that later a woman finds a faithful loved one.