June is the most difficult, the hardest month for school leavers. Expectations, hopes, dreams — everything is concentrated around the Unified State Exam. And moms and dads, instead of helping and supporting the child, only wind it up once again. Although they think that their excitement is for the good.
«Remember how you passed the exams yourself: and not only the final ones, but also the entrance ones separately. You don’t remember the formula you proved, but you do remember the stress you experienced.
But the exam is just a stage. And first of all, parents need to understand this, who put a lot of psychological pressure on children. USE — stage. It’s not a blank wall behind him.»
To realize this, our expert suggests doing one very simple thing — to come up with five options for the development of events after the Unified State Exam. And one of them will be the most seemingly «murderous» — did not pass!
«Sometimes it seems that there are no other options — I didn’t score points, I didn’t enroll, my life is over,» says Jane Brown. — This is a barrier that needs to be removed. It is necessary to live, to feel this option. No matter for what reasons, imagine that you did not pass. Where will your child go, what will he do this year? The most important thing to understand is that there are many options. And then the child will be much psychologically easier to approach the exam.»
Realizing that failure on the Unified State Exam is not the end of the world, the graduate will be able to exhale a little and look at life and his interests from a different angle. And, who knows, maybe his real desires will not coincide with yours.
«I was struck by statistics at the time: more than half of the children who enrolled a year after school chose other universities, not the ones they were going to initially,» says Jane Brown. — A huge number of graduates will go to universities now, and then they will master a completely different profession.»
The expert complains: often the choice of university and direction is not the decision of the student himself, it is the decision of his parents. This means that the panic that will not arrive is a continuation of the panic of adults.
«This university is prestigious, this one is tested, this one is close to home, and we can pull this one financially if we don’t enroll on the budget. There are thousands of components of choice and the interests of the child occupy far from the first place in them.»
Let’s predict the reaction: what can a teenager know at the age of 17-18? He doesn’t know anything yet, hasn’t tried anything. What interests? What is the trajectory of development? We don’t believe it, it can’t. We know better.
«Be prepared for the fact that your child will want to try something himself,» says Jane Brown. — And then he will change his choice. For example, he will go to practice in some company and, in fact, only then will he understand who he wants to be, will gain knowledge with additional courses.»
«Even if he now enters the wrong specialty that seems suitable to you, he will have time to change everything 10 more times after that»
5 tips — how to calm the child before the exam
Complete tasks from previous years. But without time limits, but thoughtfully, analyzing incomprehensible moments.
To build a regime of sleep and walking in the fresh air — it is very important.
Eat right: a balance of carbohydrates, enough vitamin E. On the day of the exam in the morning you can eat a chocolate bar — glucose for the brain will not hurt.
In the morning, do exercises — 15-20 minutes of work with large muscle groups: squats, working with the press, dancing. This is how we establish the blood supply to the body.
On the exam, if fear begins, a panic attack. You need to learn how to switch attention. Rub your ears, twist your brushes, breathe deeply. Close your eyes, inhale, exhale, you can say to yourself «Hello, everything is fine.» This is a mini-reboot, a psychological fast ambulance!