As a child, the New Year was for many the most beloved and long-awaited holiday, full of magic, hopes, bright emotions and impressions. However, with age, many people begin to treat this «special» day, or rather night, rather skeptically, and some adults openly dislike it. And in fact, there are enough reasons for such a negative attitude.
The era of great dislike
The New Year is not only congratulations and wishes of happiness, it is also a hassle, often burdensome: temporary, monetary and emotional costs for gifts, pushing in queues, time—consuming home decoration, cooking, cleaning, communication with guests and numerous relatives…
Some people, because of their personal characteristics (for example, introverts, pragmatic realists, owners of a rapidly depleted nervous system, perfectionists, etc.), celebrate this side of such a global holiday. Therefore, even the beginning of the New Year’s turmoil causes them discomfort, irritation and a desire to disappear during the general fun.
The New Year can strain even more with the atmosphere of duty. They say, you definitely need to smile happily in anticipation of the holiday, enjoy the fuss with buying and packing gifts, make wishes and dance while cooking… All this is absolutely not necessary. The main thing is to find out what is annoying and understand the reason.
It happens that a person is generally positive about the New Year, but at some point circumstances develop so that the holiday becomes a burden. This may be forced loneliness due to separation, moving, quarreling or the inability to celebrate the New Year in a familiar and beloved way. For example, after the birth of a baby, it may seem to mom that the holiday is passing by, because champagne, fireworks and fun gatherings with friends are now banned.
However, the most common reason for disliking the New Year lies in an unsuccessful past experience. It happens that during the holidays there are negative situations that leave a mark for many years (the death of loved ones, serious health problems, events, job loss or other events perceived as a catastrophe). In this case, the holiday is associated with traumatic memories and causes difficult experiences. And the need to participate in the surrounding fun depresses even more and reinforces a negative attitude towards the New Year.
Change of course
Is it normal not to love traditionally the main day of the year? Yes, you have the right to experience your own feelings, even if they do not coincide with the feelings of others, so you should not blame yourself that you are different from the majority. This will only make the situation worse. However, if this holiday is important for your family, and you do not want to deprive your children of faith in a New Year’s miracle, then you should think about what exactly causes you to protest and how you can change this situation.
Identify those traditions that are boring. Perhaps it is not the date of December 31 itself that annoys you, but the actions associated with it. The New Year is surrounded by many rituals and formalities, the observance of which can be exhausting both physically and emotionally. Discuss with your family what is really important for them in celebrating the New Year, and the rest can be safely discarded or rebuilt to your taste. After all, the main thing in the holiday is not a bunch of gifts and a traditional «Olivier», but a good mood and a sense of comfort.
Delegate responsibilities that you dislike. Create your own New Year traditions. For example, if you are very nervous about New Year’s spending, start a new family story with homemade small souvenirs and a magical invisible Santa Claus instead of invited artists. Do not try to do everything as best as possible, think about how to make it easier, more pleasant and more joyful.
Look at rituals from a different perspective. If you do not understand why a simple change of dates causes so much excitement around, do not believe in making wishes and miracles, try to look at everything differently. After all, the New Year is a great opportunity to analyze your successes and failures, sum up the results of the year and, under the chiming of the chimes, think about new goals. With this approach, faith in a miracle and something better becomes a kind of incentive to action, the first step to achieving a result.
Celebrate the New Year in an unusual way. Sometimes a good way to change your attitude to the New Year is to resort to diversity. Try to «get away» from negative associations by meeting the year in a radically different way: go out of town with your family, visit, arrange a romantic secluded dinner … The main thing is that this meeting leaves pleasant memories.
Sad treasure
It so happens that it is not possible to find visible reasons for rejecting the New Year, and all attempts to create a holiday «for yourself» end in failures. Most likely, in this case, it is not the holiday that is «to blame», but the deep traumatic experiences that, one way or another, were associated with this date, but may not be fully realized. Perhaps it is resentment against parents, unresolved conflict, children’s fears, etc. In any case, you can continue to dislike the New Year and minimize your participation in festive events.
Such a stable uncompromising attitude («I don’t like it, that’s all!») is a kind of dependence, a limitation that does not allow you to be flexible, see opportunities and make new discoveries in your life.
