How to help sons survive their first infatuation

Stories about children falling in love are perceived by adults with a smile and affection, and I, as the boy’s mother, was not interested in details. I think it worries the girls’ parents more.

After all, children sometimes copy adults and kiss on the lips. What should parents do, and especially parents of little brides? It is important to teach the child to show his feelings with warm words, beautiful deeds, hugs, kisses on the cheek.

During this period, children need parental support, love and understanding more than ever. Many parents know that up to the age of 7, boys are very attached to their mother, so my support and attention to his stories of falling in love has always been and is serious.

So how to react correctly to the statement of a 6-year-old kid: «I want to marry Jane»?

Ask about his feelings, experiences, desires. Find out how Jane feels about him. Ask them to tell you about Jane. In any case, do not criticize his choice! In conversation, be careful, careful. Show that the situation is meaningful and important to you.

Lovers can surprise each other, and this is normal. I myself began to tell my son that the «bride» needs to make nice gifts and say compliments. For a themed holiday, we bought cookies in the store-a heart in a beautiful box with ribbons. You should have seen with what pride he took it to kindergarten and how pleased he was to give a gift to his beloved.

But mutual love did not always happen to the son. And it was very painful to hear how upset he is that his love chooses another, and I do not know how this will affect my son’s psyche. «She doesn’t love me!» — this has also happened more than once.

How can I help if your child’s feelings are not mutual? Just talk to him, give him support. Try to encourage him, cheer him up. I am very close to the elder and he always trusts me with secrets and shares his experiences — I keep them and do not tell anyone without his consent.

Another one of our son and I, in my opinion, is a very important ritual. I tell him every night before going to bed how much we love him, that he is the best son and how lucky we are to have such a firstborn.

It is important to teach the baby to think positively and find something good in everything. This will help a lot in adult life.

How to help sons survive their first infatuation

A word to the psychologist
What should parents of a child who suffers from love do
In any case, do not devalue your child’s feelings. You can’t tell him that this is all nonsense and nonsense, like the phrases: «What are your years!?» «What do you know about love?!» You need to take his feelings seriously. Talk about the fact that falling in love is very important in a person’s life, that it helps us to be human, helps us grow up, solve problems in relationships.

Talk to the child about the subject of his love and about his feelings. Ask: «Why do you like him?» «What attracted you to him?» «What is special about this person for you?» Do not criticize your child’s chosen one. Do not say that he is bad and unworthy. At the same time, it is not necessary to arrange an interrogation with a predilection for the child and surreptitiously control his relationship.

It is not necessary to impose on the child the idea that now is not the time for love, that it will have a bad effect on studies, etc. Listen carefully to the child and help him set priorities. Discuss what is important to him now, discuss his long-term goals, help him make a regime so that the child can combine study with his personal life.

There is no need to worry if the child has begun to actively imitate the object of his love, copy his/her mannerisms, style of clothing. However, if there are any bad habits, have a serious conversation, try to analyze the situation together.

Be sensitive and attentive. Be sure to pay attention to such serious bells as:

prolonged refusal of food;

for sleep disorders in a child.

The main thing is to calmly listen to your child and let him speak out, discuss problems with him and offer him your help. Give attention, love, care, show him how important he is. And if you can’t solve the problem yourself, then contact the specialists.

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