When used too often, these words lose their significance and no longer affect the baby. Then what should replace them? Here are some phrases that will help parents:
1. «Of course, but later …»
If you think that what your child is asking for is normal, but not now, you can compromise. Instead of saying no, tell your child that he will get what he wants, but only when you deem it necessary.
2. «You can choose between…»
For example, you can let your child choose between one cookie before dinner or two after a meal. Let him make a choice. This will make him feel that he is making his own independent decision.
3. «Hey! Look at this»
If your child still seems adamant, try to divert his attention to something else, for example, a toy, a book or any other interesting object.
4. «Why don’t you play with this instead?»
Eileen Kennedy-Moore, author of the book «12 ways to attract the attention of parents» says: «It’s easier for children to change behavior than to stop a child.»
The next time you want your child, for example, to stop playing with an object, do not just pull it out of your hands, but replace it with a safer, but no less attractive one.
5. «I want it too»
Through delayed gratification, children learn the value of work and expectations of reward. And one of the ways is to tell your child that you also want what he asked for. But you can’t get it immediately and would appreciate it if the baby would wait too.
And here’s how the psychologist Marina advises you to refuse something to a child correctly
The word «no» should have weight, so use it only for the case.
Explain the reason for the refusal. When a child does not understand why «no», he begins to get angry and offended. These feelings can easily turn into aggression.
Your «no» should be firm and calm. The child needs to hear the decision made in your words. Children will certainly try to change it, but success will depend on your firmness, not tied to losing your temper and conflict.
And, of course, do not devalue the word «no» yourself. If you said no, don’t change your mind after an hour or two. Otherwise, you yourself will show the child that your word means nothing.
Offer your child an alternative. If you need to refuse because it is impossible to realize the desire, it is worth looking for other options that would suit both you and the child.
Don’t promise if you’re not going to do it. False hope forms a child’s distrust of you, and he simply ceases to believe you.
